It is absolutely great that women are more independent, financially secure and are able to support themselves, their families and parents. Heck a few decades ago, women were so severely oppressed, without equal stature as men and often seen as the weaker sex. And unfortunately this demeanor way off thinking still exists, sometimes hidden behind closed doors and sometimes very openly in certain societies. So it is definitely a big ups to women for being able to stand strong on their own…
But how many of these women, however independent and free as they appear to be, are actually independent when many of them have such deep emotional and mental scars? Sure money can buy you security, a lap of luxury, a nice car and trips around the world… But is being independent and happy just depended on the money you have and your ability to spend? Or does being independent also depend on how happy and content you are with yourself, your life, and your present situation? This pertains to men as well. There is a huge pool of financially successful people who can enjoy most material pleasures with a swipe of their cards or click of a button. But a lot of these same people find themselves in depression, over eating, over spending on stuff they won’t ever use. And basically caught in a nasty cycle of materialism for pleasure and happiness.
You see, with that deep need to be financially secure (which is not a bad thing at all), also comes the psychological reason behind the need. This could range from growing up poor, to remembering the struggles that their parents went through to put food on the table, to watching their mother being physically abused by their dad. And wishing to be financially secure to support her. Or because they have grew up rich and having material pleasures was all they knew…
Whatever the reason, many financially secure people feel that they are independent by having money, or that money will give them all they ever wanted, which includes happiness and love. And then they feel emotional, lost and depressed when money can’t buy these things.
Money isn’t a bad thing at all. And I am in no way saying that it is bad or that people who have it are bad or depressed people. But what I am saying, is that many people who yearn for financial freedom also feel that it is or can be the solution to most problems and that can be a leading cause of depression and emotional pain.
A man may feel, “I can buy a lot of expensive things, drive a fancy car, have a big house, and many women (or one), will love me”, but in reality he might meet money hungry women who just want him for his wealth and not love him for him.
While a woman who is financially secure might feel, “I have all material pleasures and now I just need a man to fit into my lifestyle,” But a lot of women who are financially independent are also some of the most emotionally closed people who find it difficult to give their heart to someone else and trust that they will love them. And men also face similar issues.
Imagine, you are able to trust the bank to look after your money, yet you find is so difficult to trust a human being with your heart? Could it be caused by emotional trauma, and negative thoughts on love? That you feel the need to take care of yourself, so you don’t have to be vulnerable to be taken care of by another person?
Whatever the cause is, know that you are loved beyond compare. You are loved by love itself. You are embraced by abundant love, which is also God’s love. And that knowledge alone has the capability to help and heal emotional wounds, scars and insecurities.
If you have a little bit of extra cash or you can live life in a slightly faster lane than others, then good for you. I am not being sarcastic. Give yourself a pat on the back and adopt a complete attitude of gratitude for all you have and all you can afford. This, of course shouldn’t make you feel that you are better than others. But on the same note, you are certainly not lower than anyone else either.
Ask yourself, without all of this money and status, what makes me happy? If I lost all my cards and had just the exact amount of cash for shelter, food and water, what activities would make me happy? What would bring you happiness without the ability to shop on high fashion, indulge in good gourmet food or spoil yourself with the latest techno gadget?
Would it be writing?
Cooking and/or baking for others?
Looking after animals?
Volunteering your services and time at an old age home or hugging abandoned babies?
All of these and more bring love and happiness to one’s heart. It brings contentment and gives purpose. This answer will bring you closer to being and feeling happy, without the financial status to your name.
I was not much of a writer in my school days. Yet being in situations where I didn’t have a lot of cash or a car to go around with others, helped me realise my love for writing. I mean I couldn’t go out much or experience a high flying socialite type of life style. But I could be home, with access to a computer and just type my thoughts away. That itself brought so much of purpose to my life and Love in Abundance (the idea for the book and blog, was formed). And today many people from all over the world follow my blog and get inspired by my writing. And all this was possible with just my desire to be purposeful and my love for writing.
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